I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
