Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
