butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize