We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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