Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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