it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
