Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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