don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
