Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
