i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
