I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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