yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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