oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
this is an emotional support booty call
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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