wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We need to get me chipped asap
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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