im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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