dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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