At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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