Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The power of my boobs compel you
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
