My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
a search helicopter?!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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