He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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