wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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