Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
