I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
