I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Couch. On fire.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
