is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
