I heard we made out
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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