I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
