Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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