is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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