Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I've blown a few things in my day
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
