is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize