At least make sure they are 18
Why
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
