Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
