At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
