Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
