just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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