Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize