Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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