Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
