She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
