i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Of course I have a pirate flag
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
