Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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