I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
