he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
