oh god the rape fog is back!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
