either way he was missing a nipple.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize