so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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