I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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