You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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