I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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