remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
