roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Floor bacon is actually really good
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
