In the future we'll all be gay
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
