I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
