shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
