girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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