Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
