big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
