we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize