ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
