i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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