what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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